General > Off-Topic
Jokes
MadMax:
Two buckets of vomit are walking down the street, when one stops and starts crying.
"What's up with you?" asks his friend. He replies
"I was brought up around here"
A nun, three midgets, a horse and Mike Tyson walk into a bar. The barman asks
"Is this some knd of joke?"
Three brothers with unusual names are out hiking. One is called 'Bite Me', another is called 'Manners' and the third is christened 'Dog Turds'. While walking along a mountain path, Dog Turds slips and falls, injuring himself when landing 50 feet below. His brothers quickly decide that Manners should stay with him while Bite Me heads for civilization to get help. On arrivinig
in the next town he rushes to the police station.
"Quickly, please, my brother's had a terrible accident and needs help" The kindly officer tries to
reassure him.
"OK son, now calm down. We'll get some help for him. First, tell me your name"
"Bite Me" replies the boy. The officer looks concerned.
"Now son, I know you're upset, but I need you to tell me your name, OK?"
"Bite Me!" shouts the exasperated boy. The officer now looks angrily at him
"Now listen Mister, accident or none there's no need for that. Where's your manners?"
"Halfway down a cliff, picking up Dog Turds!"
There's two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says
"How do you drive these things anyway?"
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One asks the other
"Does this taste funny to you?"
A guy walks into a bar.
"Ouch!" It was an iron bar.
[MAF]Rac3r:
Chuck Norris can tell a black joke without looking over his shoulder.
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris landed an uppercut on a horse.
Apparently, Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, but the Grim reaper hasn't got the balls to tell him!
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Some say Chuck Norris once had an iPhone, he stretched it with his bare hands. He then called it the iPad.
Chuck Norris once had sex in the back of his semi-truck with a prostitute. A single drop of semen got onto the seat and became infused with the truck. The truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink, Tom cruise invented that.
Just got these on my phone, worthy of a share to the community. ;)
[MAF]Snoopy:
good. need some humour around this place :)
[MAF]Aj_Lajk_Bir:
sorry meze :(
How many gears French tanks have? 4 backwards and one forward in case, if the enemy attack from the back
:L
►R1d3r™:
A woman was terribly overweight, so her doctor put her on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least 5 pounds." When the woman returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. "Why, that's amazing!" the doctor said, "Did you follow my instructions?" The woman nodded. "I'll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day." "From hunger, you mean?" "No, from skipping."
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