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General => Off-Topic => Topic started by: [FSR]Ush on October 29, 2009, 01:26:51 am

Title: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 29, 2009, 01:26:51 am
I dunno why I write this, but I felt too.. so here I go.

I was wondering if you guys have the same.. sometimes I feel lucky and well with who I am and what I'm doing.. other times I feel spoiled if I compare my life with others... and sometimes I feel poor when I compare my life with others...
One thing is sure, everyone got his own unique life.

When some tragedy happens I feel the sympathy for the people involved.. and sometimes I'm dreaming about my own tragedy.. Like, what if this happend to me? What if I was standing in the shoes of someone else, what would I do? I'm feeling sympathy for some tragics faster as for others... I can get a little emotional when I see people having a hard time on television... Other times I can't give a fuck and move on..

Everyone got their moments when they wish their lives was different from what it actually is.. And everyone got their days where they feel unbeatable.

Somtimes I wish I could change the world, but that isn't within my abilities. I probably wouldn't even know what to change.. What is the best to change first? And second? No one knows.

Music enlightens me in my thinking.

Wooo, life is magnificent!!

Okay, you might think, woow what a dreamer is Ush. Yes I'm, this is me. I think alot about life. I like to.
Just wanted to share this with you.. Cause I felt too.

And you know what, I love myself and the people around me!
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]falky on October 29, 2009, 06:25:14 am
This morning while I was headed to work I saw 2 instances wherein a big pile of trash was being burned. Didn't these fools learn a lesson with the past 2 typhoons that hit our country that killed almost a thousand (poor AND rich) people? Don't they understand that what they're doing is what's provoking mother nature to go berserk? Or are they just being ignorant?

..
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [2F2F]SNiKeRiS on October 29, 2009, 08:12:54 am
Ush, feel free to tell your thoughts.

I also have some times and days when I can feel something different and something special. Maybe it's because of my lifestyle or friends... And the mood I always have makes me love life and people.

Here I split some of my thoughts.  :-* Cheers Ush.  
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ﱡ קּﻰﺢ Love on October 29, 2009, 11:09:10 am
Nice Ush.Being a dreamer like you is just perfect but dont fly in too much, dont be a pessimist. lol

I can say same stuff a bit like you, but without these; And you know what, I love myself and the people around me!  :'(
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Cthulhu on October 29, 2009, 11:17:40 am
nice words ush  ;) , but u should stop smoking that shit :L
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 29, 2009, 11:23:21 am
Heh, I was clean when I wrote this.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Cthulhu on October 29, 2009, 11:24:31 am
heh ok  :)
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 29, 2009, 11:28:05 am
My emotions got touched.

I saw a program on TV "top25 most shocking news" including the death of MJ, 9/11, the tsunami in south-east Asia, Lady Diana etc... I know the program is meant to touch your emotions and the program isn't objective in any way. (There happend worse things as Lady Diana who died in a car accident).

After that I saw a little shot of "This is it" from MJ.

And that's how my feelings came onto the point when I wrote this.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ﱡ קּﻰﺢ Love on October 29, 2009, 11:38:32 am
Yeah touchy stuff, they touch to many people.Emotions. :)

Are we one-eyed emos on the way ?
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Sighmoan on October 29, 2009, 01:49:56 pm
Heh, I was clean when I wrote this.

heh ok  :)

Start smoking again then :p
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on October 29, 2009, 03:13:47 pm
I think that I am suffering from depression and after reading about this illness I realise that I must see a doctor, but I am afraid to.
I feel down all of the time and have no motivation to do anything, including work, exercise, hobbies, even a bath at night.

I just want to read my book, watch television or go to bed.
I feel tired all of the time and people are now always saying how tired I look.

I left work today because I couldn't go through the day.
I managed to talk to a friend yesterday (Andre), he understands and thinks I should see someone. I can’t tell my boyfriend (Chris Twomey), I don't know how to.

If I go to the doctor, I'm sure they will just send me away. I don't think they'll believe anything is wrong!
I've also got a tendancy to say what I think people want to hear.

I had hypnotherapy and counselling and afterwards said I felt okay. But I don't feel okay.
I hate myself, I've put on weight and look fat and ugly, I can't stand that look of hatred in my own eyes when I look in the mirror, and (although I know I be too chicken to do it) I think that maybe the best option is death.

Maybe then people won't have to put up with me any more, always moaning and never doing anything about it. I’m so self-pitying.

I'm sorry to be doing this, but it's a release to just type out the words. To be honest, it's amazing seeing what I have written. :'(
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 29, 2009, 03:24:44 pm
You are absolutely right that you are almost certainly suffering with a degree of depression.

Your lack of motivation, feeling down for no reason, no interest in work or hobbies, constantly feeling exhausted and your physical symptoms of headaches and putting on weight are all typical of this condition.

Your lack of self-esteem and the fact that you have contemplated death as being the best option is suggestive that your depression is relatively severe.

The good news is that your depression is eminently treatable.

It's great you have a wonderful boyfriend and are successful in your job, and it is a wonderful credit to you that you have managed to continue functioning efficiently whilst feeling as bad as you do.

You're also very sensible to postpone having a baby at the current time. Pregnancy is a huge undertaking and you need to be really happy and healthy before embarking on this life-changing course.

Depression is very common and almost always temporary.

Most people will suffer from it at some stage in their lives, and 10 per cent of the population actually need hospital admission to overcome it.

You are not alone, and you certainly do not need to feel bad or guilty about feeling in low spirits.

First of all go and see your doctor and be totally open and honest with them so that your treatment may begin.

Take your boyfriend with you if you wish, having spoken to him about how you feel first.

Treatment usually consists of expert psychotherapy together with modern antidepressant drugs, which are quickly effective and have minimal side effects when used correctly.

The chances are that within two to three weeks you will be feeling a great deal better, and that in two to three months you will feel completely back to normal.

You owe this to yourself and you deserve the very best treatment.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Cthulhu on October 29, 2009, 03:37:42 pm
thats crazy lol :L
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [2F2F]SNiKeRiS on October 29, 2009, 03:39:15 pm
Nice poems :L
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Mach5 on October 29, 2009, 07:47:07 pm
I am a bit like snoopy.
In school i am one of the only who doenst have so many friends. I can count in the fingers the friends that i have.


I always hated me,i wanted be like you guys.You all are always happy and joking what means you guys have a nice life,different then me.


This year i am doing treatment and my doctor said that i have depression and a bit of social phobia. I am taking some remedies, and i am a bit better now. I am not hating myself anymore but i also dont know what i am doing in this fuck life. I only study, go to pc, and nothing more happen to me. My life is so boring. To make things better i go to pc but then i get bad grades in school cause i love my pc so much,maybe more then myself.


I have a fear that i wont have a good future with these bad grades, but i also dont wanna abandon my pc. This is my only motivation to live. I am ugly,shy and anti-social. What can i do?
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [2F2F]SNiKeRiS on October 29, 2009, 09:06:14 pm
I can count my friends on fingers too. Well my best friends im not counting simple friends.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 29, 2009, 09:09:14 pm
Well my best frieds

chips nice  :D
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on October 29, 2009, 09:10:09 pm
Well my best frieds

freds :D
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [2F2F]SNiKeRiS on October 29, 2009, 09:11:12 pm
Almost feds  ;D
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 29, 2009, 09:14:25 pm
But who can maintain 20 good friends, no one can... you don't have the time for it ;)

You can have a few good friends and a lot of people you'll see sometimes and have a little talk with.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [2F2F]SNiKeRiS on October 29, 2009, 09:16:48 pm
I have changed my school 3 times already ( not because im some kind of moron xD) So in every class there are 30 good people. 30+30+30=90. 90 friends and great friends :L
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]PyroFox on October 29, 2009, 09:19:34 pm
McCain, it's not the quantity of friends, it's how good of a friend they are, I can count my closest friends on my fingers as well. As long as you have a few good friends, that's all that matters. As for being shy and anti social, you'll eventually break out of that, I was once very shy but I've passed it. Just go out more often and give the PC a break ;) Also don't think of yourself as those things, just makes you feel worse in the end of the day, pick a few positive things about yourself and go with that.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]falky on October 29, 2009, 09:21:16 pm
Always remember, quantity doesn't matter. It's how you feel about your friends.

I've only had a few (best) friends during high school (like when I graduated we we're only 4 in the group), but I had the most wonderful time with them and they always made me feel great. ;D

EDIT: woops! pyrofox beat me to it :L well, yep quality > quantity
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ﱡ קּﻰﺢ Love on October 29, 2009, 10:49:08 pm
KICK THE PC MACCAIN !!! It will make your feelings worse in future.Its a nice painkiller yes i agree with it, i do same too.

More youre on pc, lesser chance you will meet and have social things going.It will suck you out of your life, you will want it to be more involved into yourself.You cant live without it.

You shud have at least one fine going friend, try to keep close on him and hopefully if hes a social person youll meet people.Surely youll find some more friends, then make some nice stuff eh.

AND YOURE NOT UGLY.Nobody is ugly enough to dont look at since you dont have a totally burnt up face... Shyness comes by keeping away from other people.Anti social shit comes from growing up in a shy life or being kept away from humans and stuff like these.

I see it and know it as one of problems appearing while you growing up and lots of people have it plus lots of people lived with it for ages.(e.g. my grandma) And its taking time to get over it, but you must not give up and just keep going further all the time.

I can tell some of my story here for lil inspiration or knowledge for you.Currently im not over it and seemingly i cant be advancing forward anymore soon.

It starts with lefting school aprx. 3 years ago.In aprx. again 2 years i was TOTALLY at home, without going to streets and keeping on PC whole of day.Some people might remember me playing 10+ hours in one row.And i was fine in 1 year but after that (brain growing progress i think lol) i started to think about more on future, WHAT could happen if i go thru this way ??? It was a real blind question.With no education, no friends, no people.Thats just a no life.And i was looking for something to get me out, my uncle suggested me to work with him and i rejected it at first.After one month he asked for it again, i was seriously getting bored and worried about my situtation i said ok for it.In first time i got out it was really weird after those years.

I started to work in a curtains shop, there was my uncle and one more employee and me.In that first day i was like a frozen stone most of time, talking almost no time.You feel strange while against a strange eh.It was on that way.After days pass and pass i managed to get a relationship going.I was managing to talk and have funny stuff going.Well this isnt related to you much till here and maybe further on lol.

After some time another boy came into work he was a frozen stone like me too.I am also.He was having hard time on strangers also.In early times i was expecting some get-close move from him and it wasnt going to happen.Then (everyday i was taking deep thoughts about being an active&social person) i decided to get on move and do something.All i did is picking right words to dont make him say WTF is this guy saying ?! And talk to him related to something around us.Right now we are just like friends.

And that shop taught me one more thing, more youre involved more easy you talk.Somedays i was having customer flows and there i was making it out more easily one after one.So about you Cain if you get on track and hit the gas, make friends and interact.Youll make it out more easily next time and so on.

Currently i have only 2 friends or we can say 3 one is my "bicycle" and computer is NOT. :P Plus i dont have girls around me at all lol. And those 2 friends arent worthy of being friends with.School is an epic source of socialism in our ages.Plus a place shapes your life and your character.Im a bit sad about lefting it right now but its done, nothing to do.

Anyway enough crapness.Just a piece to this topic from me. :)

HOLY S*** its epic typo (saw this after finishing ;D)
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Mach5 on October 29, 2009, 10:52:59 pm
Really thanks guys :D you all made me feel better specially pyrofox Love but stay out of pc is hard to me. Maybe i get interested in another thing in future.Let's see what will happen. Last year was worse. Many times i thought in kill myself. I had no friends in school.
This year i am in a new school and made a bit of friends but problems still. I will try follow yours advice.
Again thanks guys ;)

Edit: wow Love i totally agree with you,i am like you was. You won the best advice award ;D.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]PyroFox on October 29, 2009, 10:58:27 pm
Especially me? Love was the one with the wall of text xD Yeah but, glad to help :)
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 29, 2009, 11:10:15 pm
We are here to help you.. :)

Btw, searching a job next to your school career does help in making friends... Or choose a sport you like and practise that.

Where did I meet my friends?

- Some friends from my primary school.
- I still have a lot friends from secondary school..(and I met friends of friends who became friends too).
- At the university I met some friends too.
- I have some friends of places where I used to work.
- Some people I know from the neighbourhood I live(d) in.
- And I have friends from sport; soccer(I quit since this season due to pain in my ankle which kept coming back).

And what are friends? From the above story everyone seems to be my friend, well that isn't true. I have a few very good friends, where I can talk about whatever I want to say... Then I got some friends where I can have a great time with.. After that there are some friends who I see sometimes and have a talk with or drink a beer together. And the level below that is friends who I almost never see, but when I see them I can choose to make a talk or not.. they won't really bother if I ignore them, and they probably will be pleased when I make a short talk with them.

Friends are there on any level.. :)
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Mach5 on October 29, 2009, 11:10:53 pm
Especially me? Love was the one with the wall of text xD Yeah but, glad to help :)

Yea me and him posted at same time,lol but dont worry i edited it :L
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Cthulhu on October 30, 2009, 12:01:39 am
probably the best topic that ush has ever made
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]falky on October 31, 2009, 11:34:03 am
Another typhoon entered the country this morning, this one hit my house moderately hard. I've got leaks in the entire attic and some of my window screens are bust.

God bless our country.

:-\
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on October 31, 2009, 11:46:44 am
(http://files.uploadffs.com/6/654960ba/typhoonreliefposterorange.jpg)
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]falky on October 31, 2009, 01:27:51 pm
'Ondoy' was a wake up call from hell, it didn't pack strong winds but it had a painstakingly heavy amount of rain. It successfully submerged almost half our capital island (even the mountain provinces) underwater. Some of the cities even remain submerged as of this writing.

'Pepeng' wasn't as devastating but it reaped havoc along the north west of our capital island 'cause it remained stationary in that area for like 3 days (like it wasn't moving at all).

'Quedan' and 'Reming' didn't cause any damage, just more rain.

Then just today, 'Santi' crossed our capital packing winds of up to 140km/h. It's comparable to typhoon 'Milenyo' in 2006 that devastated our capital heavily (toppled billboards, blew away homes, left some areas flooded, and some people stranded). Damage by Santi has yet to be evaluated.


All this in the timespan of just a month. Now I start to think about all those plastic cups I have thrown off my car window.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 31, 2009, 02:27:01 pm
Come to europa, we don't have typhoons/tornado's :D
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ivanduk on October 31, 2009, 04:31:24 pm
It's great you have a wonderful boyfriend and are successful in your job, and it is a wonderful credit to you that you have managed to continue functioning efficiently whilst feeling as bad as you do.

You're also very sensible to postpone having a baby at the current time. Pregnancy is a huge undertaking and you need to be really happy and healthy before embarking on this life-changing course.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Cthulhu on October 31, 2009, 04:38:47 pm
awwww BLAH! that's really disgusting picture
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ivanduk on October 31, 2009, 06:00:02 pm
You will probably laugh at me, but I hate my life. I am lazy, not self-confident etc. Its always the same stuff. I get up, go to school and listen to the bloody teachers for 4 hours. When I get home the first thing I do is turn the PC on. Then msn, Facebook, forums and all that shit. I eat and play on the pc till my parents come and then i start to write my homework. After that I play more, eat and go to sleep. And this happens every day and I know this routine sucks, but I can't find a good motivation to change myself. Just like snoopy, I am too lazy to write homework and study, eventhough from 1st to 6th grade all my grades are A. Sometimes i may go out and hang out with friends, but its rare. I have a lot of friends, I know half of the school, but what are they for when you don't make contact with them? Even now I'm typing this as fast as I can so I can finish my homework and play. I often question myself, what's the point of my life when I the same things all over again? Isn't life suposed to be having fun? In school there is a girl i like, and I think she likes me too. But I don't know how to start because Im very shy. What if she throws a "bucket" at me(refuse/dump me)? I would be humiliated and wont be able to see her again in my life. Im also a bit like McCain, I am anti-social and its a rare thing when I do a new friendship. All the friend i know are people with who i used to study for 7 years, and I got some friend from the neighbourhood.
Also, they torture us alot in school, we learn stuff that were meant for university back in the 1980s. Last year was the hardest for me. Too much homework, I used to stay till 2 o' clock in the morning studing. At that time I was thinking of killing myself, but now I am proud that i menaged to "survive"

Right now I am thinking of how much replies with "lol" will come up.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ﱡ קּﻰﺢ Love on October 31, 2009, 06:10:16 pm
Nobody is going to lol or even smile a little bit for you buddy.

Seems like we have this type of problems on so many young persons.We are on ourselves, someone will give you nice thoughts and pump your mood and motivation.But we are totally on ourselves.If you thinking of killing yourself and no other thing when you face something you dont like, i mean thinking the things you type up there.

You need to pump yourself, with others doing it for you also.The spray of happines and fun is inside, inside yourself.Id suggest going into a forum dedicated to psychological stuff and reading some, but better if you join into their community and share yourself.Thus you will find INSANE number of people whos having same troubles as we have.

Solution is you.

I will say again, you have great advantage about friends out there.Just go hang out, kick pc off.Did you ever thought about doing homeworks together eh?
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [2F2F]SNiKeRiS on October 31, 2009, 06:10:45 pm
Waste of time, huh ?
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ﱡ קּﻰﺢ Love on October 31, 2009, 06:14:28 pm
Practically yes.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on October 31, 2009, 06:53:18 pm
You will probably laugh at me, but I hate my life. I am lazy, not self-confident etc. Its always the same stuff. I get up, go to school and listen to the bloody teachers for 4 hours. When I get home the first thing I do is turn the PC on. Then msn, Facebook, forums and all that shit. I eat and play on the pc till my parents come and then i start to write my homework. After that I play more, eat and go to sleep. And this happens every day and I know this routine sucks, but I can't find a good motivation to change myself. Just like snoopy, I am too lazy to write homework and study, eventhough from 1st to 6th grade all my grades are A. Sometimes i may go out and hang out with friends, but its rare. I have a lot of friends, I know half of the school, but what are they for when you don't make contact with them? Even now I'm typing this as fast as I can so I can finish my homework and play. I often question myself, what's the point of my life when I the same things all over again? Isn't life suposed to be having fun? In school there is a girl i like, and I think she likes me too. But I don't know how to start because Im very shy. What if she throws a "bucket" at me(refuse/dump me)? I would be humiliated and wont be able to see her again in my life. Im also a bit like McCain, I am anti-social and its a rare thing when I do a new friendship. All the friend i know are people with who i used to study for 7 years, and I got some friend from the neighbourhood.
Also, they torture us alot in school, we learn stuff that were meant for university back in the 1980s. Last year was the hardest for me. Too much homework, I used to stay till 2 o' clock in the morning studing. At that time I was thinking of killing myself, but now I am proud that i menaged to "survive"

Right now I am thinking of how much replies with "lol" will come up.

(spin) :L lol
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ﱡ קּﻰﺢ Love on October 31, 2009, 07:04:29 pm
You will probably laugh at me, but I hate my life. I am lazy, not self-confident etc. Its always the same stuff. I get up, go to school and listen to the bloody teachers for 4 hours. When I get home the first thing I do is turn the PC on. Then msn, Facebook, forums and all that shit. I eat and play on the pc till my parents come and then i start to write my homework. After that I play more, eat and go to sleep. And this happens every day and I know this routine sucks, but I can't find a good motivation to change myself. Just like snoopy, I am too lazy to write homework and study, eventhough from 1st to 6th grade all my grades are A. Sometimes i may go out and hang out with friends, but its rare. I have a lot of friends, I know half of the school, but what are they for when you don't make contact with them? Even now I'm typing this as fast as I can so I can finish my homework and play. I often question myself, what's the point of my life when I the same things all over again? Isn't life suposed to be having fun? In school there is a girl i like, and I think she likes me too. But I don't know how to start because Im very shy. What if she throws a "bucket" at me(refuse/dump me)? I would be humiliated and wont be able to see her again in my life. Im also a bit like McCain, I am anti-social and its a rare thing when I do a new friendship. All the friend i know are people with who i used to study for 7 years, and I got some friend from the neighbourhood.
Also, they torture us alot in school, we learn stuff that were meant for university back in the 1980s. Last year was the hardest for me. Too much homework, I used to stay till 2 o' clock in the morning studing. At that time I was thinking of killing myself, but now I am proud that i menaged to "survive"

Right now I am thinking of how much replies with "lol" will come up.

(spin) :L lol
He wouldnt lol if you didnt say lol >.<
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on October 31, 2009, 07:08:18 pm
;_;
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ivanduk on October 31, 2009, 07:19:59 pm
I think that I am suffering from depression and after reading about this illness I realise that I must see a doctor, but I am afraid to.
I feel down all of the time and have no motivation to do anything, including work, exercise, hobbies, even a bath at night.

I just want to read my book, watch television or go to bed.
I feel tired all of the time and people are now always saying how tired I look.

I left work today because I couldn't go through the day.
I managed to talk to a friend yesterday (Andre), he understands and thinks I should see someone. I can’t tell my boyfriend (Chris Twomey), I don't know how to.

If I go to the doctor, I'm sure they will just send me away. I don't think they'll believe anything is wrong!
I've also got a tendancy to say what I think people want to hear.

I had hypnotherapy and counselling and afterwards said I felt okay. But I don't feel okay.
I hate myself, I've put on weight and look fat and ugly, I can't stand that look of hatred in my own eyes when I look in the mirror, and (although I know I be too chicken to do it) I think that maybe the best option is death.

Maybe then people won't have to put up with me any more, always moaning and never doing anything about it. I’m so self-pitying.

I'm sorry to be doing this, but it's a release to just type out the words. To be honest, it's amazing seeing what I have written. :'(
lol
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ﱡ קּﻰﺢ Love on October 31, 2009, 07:28:50 pm

lol

:L Best answer.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on October 31, 2009, 07:30:55 pm
I think that I am suffering from depression and after reading about this illness I realise that I must see a doctor, but I am afraid to.
I feel down all of the time and have no motivation to do anything, including work, exercise, hobbies, even a bath at night.

I just want to read my book, watch television or go to bed.
I feel tired all of the time and people are now always saying how tired I look.

I left work today because I couldn't go through the day.
I managed to talk to a friend yesterday (Andre), he understands and thinks I should see someone. I can’t tell my boyfriend (Chris Twomey), I don't know how to.

If I go to the doctor, I'm sure they will just send me away. I don't think they'll believe anything is wrong!
I've also got a tendancy to say what I think people want to hear.

I had hypnotherapy and counselling and afterwards said I felt okay. But I don't feel okay.
I hate myself, I've put on weight and look fat and ugly, I can't stand that look of hatred in my own eyes when I look in the mirror, and (although I know I be too chicken to do it) I think that maybe the best option is death.

Maybe then people won't have to put up with me any more, always moaning and never doing anything about it. I’m so self-pitying.

I'm sorry to be doing this, but it's a release to just type out the words. To be honest, it's amazing seeing what I have written. :'(
lol

guess what, that isn't real haha! and everyone fell for it ;_;
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 31, 2009, 07:44:25 pm

guess what, that isn't real haha! and everyone fell for it ;_;

Except me, but I went with Snoopy while posting the answer from the site where Snoopy posted the question from.

xD :L
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on October 31, 2009, 07:50:41 pm
:L ftw
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Sighmoan on October 31, 2009, 08:02:30 pm
Are you guys all serious?
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ﱡ קּﻰﺢ Love on October 31, 2009, 08:22:28 pm
Except Snoopy, we are.

Thats why i didnt say anything to him but anyone else. :P
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Sighmoan on October 31, 2009, 08:45:22 pm
Except Snoopy, we are.

Thats why i didnt say anything to him but anyone else. :P

I didn't see the last few posts before posting that.  ::)
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [LSR]Jalicno on October 31, 2009, 09:27:27 pm
I managed to talk to a friend yesterday (Andre), he understands and thinks I should see someone. I can’t tell my boyfriend (Chris Twomey), I don't know how to.
This is real :L
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ﱡ קּﻰﺢ Love on October 31, 2009, 09:34:29 pm
I managed to talk to a friend yesterday (Andre), he understands and thinks I should see someone. I can’t tell my boyfriend (Chris Twomey), I don't know how to.
This is real :L
:L :L
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Sighmoan on October 31, 2009, 10:11:18 pm
I managed to talk to a friend yesterday (Andre), he understands and thinks I should see someone. I can’t tell my boyfriend (Chris Twomey), I don't know how to.
This is real :L
Does this mean you will hit him?
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [2F2F]SNiKeRiS on October 31, 2009, 10:24:26 pm
Quite possible  ;D
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on October 31, 2009, 10:32:44 pm
I managed to talk to a friend yesterday (Andre), he understands and thinks I should see someone. I can’t tell my boyfriend (Chris Twomey), I don't know how to.
This is real :L
Does this mean you will hit him?

haha simon
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [LSR]Jalicno on November 01, 2009, 12:32:46 am
I managed to talk to a friend yesterday (Andre), he understands and thinks I should see someone. I can’t tell my boyfriend (Chris Twomey), I don't know how to.
This is real :L
Does this mean you will hit him?
Some sarcasm Granpa or you are jealosly fagot?Many gays are around here but didn't punch anyone of them yet.So stop with that silly jokes or next time gonna hit you right in face.
Peace  ;)
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [2F2F]SNiKeRiS on November 01, 2009, 08:06:14 am
Quote
Many gays are around here but didn't punch anyone of them yet.

How much gays you know here ?  :o
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Sighmoan on November 01, 2009, 02:30:55 pm
Some sarcasm Granpa or you are jealosly fagot?Many gays are around here but didn't punch anyone of them yet.So stop with that silly jokes or next time gonna hit you right in face.
Peace  ;)

Jealosly faggot? What does that even mean?

And of course you haven't hit them yet, you haven't seen them kissing.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [LSR]Jalicno on November 01, 2009, 06:51:32 pm
Blah Simon you killing this great topic with your opinion about gays whose doesn't match with mine.People here open their hearts and souls,talking about their personal problems....What a hell you trying make here?Make me feels bad cause i am not liberal as you are.Sorry but we living in different countries.I am proud Balcanian for some of you dirty,stupid,savage man.Yes that is me.You can simple hate me or being my friend.It is all up to you what you gonna choice.I like drink alcohol,drive fast cars,fuck woman's probably we do like same but never,never want change my mind about gay people.To be honest that opinion share more then half normal people in whole world.You have right to believe in what you want same as me.So seriously fuck off with that silly jokes.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on November 01, 2009, 07:35:05 pm
People from different regions have different opinions, cause they rose up differently.

I know that people from the Balcan are more proud and have a "harder" opinion.
It's just like most people from Latin America are a bit more sanguineous.

I'm glad nobody has the same opinion cause the world would be boring. But if we wanna live together in peace we should respect one another.

Everyone got opinions about everything, it's about how you deal with it. You could choose not to tell anyone or do it more subtile or call it very loud. Sometimes it's better not to give your opinion, because you know it's gonna give trouble.. other times it's better to give your opinion because people need different opinions so they can think about it. Also the way you interpret someones opinion makes a difference and the reaction which follows(no reaction is also a reaction). I don't tell anyone what is the best way to give your opinion, you should come up with it yourself. Live and learn.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Mach5 on November 01, 2009, 11:43:42 pm
You will probably laugh at me, but I hate my life. I am lazy, not self-confident etc. Its always the same stuff. I get up, go to school and listen to the bloody teachers for 4 hours. When I get home the first thing I do is turn the PC on. Then msn, Facebook, forums and all that shit. I eat and play on the pc till my parents come and then i start to write my homework. After that I play more, eat and go to sleep. And this happens every day and I know this routine sucks, but I can't find a good motivation to change myself. Just like snoopy, I am too lazy to write homework and study, eventhough from 1st to 6th grade all my grades are A. Sometimes i may go out and hang out with friends, but its rare. I have a lot of friends, I know half of the school, but what are they for when you don't make contact with them? Even now I'm typing this as fast as I can so I can finish my homework and play. I often question myself, what's the point of my life when I the same things all over again? Isn't life suposed to be having fun? In school there is a girl i like, and I think she likes me too. But I don't know how to start because Im very shy. What if she throws a "bucket" at me(refuse/dump me)? I would be humiliated and wont be able to see her again in my life. Im also a bit like McCain, I am anti-social and its a rare thing when I do a new friendship. All the friend i know are people with who i used to study for 7 years, and I got some friend from the neighbourhood.
Also, they torture us alot in school, we learn stuff that were meant for university back in the 1980s. Last year was the hardest for me. Too much homework, I used to stay till 2 o' clock in the morning studing. At that time I was thinking of killing myself, but now I am proud that i menaged to "survive"

Right now I am thinking of how much replies with "lol" will come up.


didnt imagine it. In virtual world we are a bit different then in real life. Is just hard stay away for pc, is like drug for me. And i agree with Ush. People think me strange cause i think in a different way.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on November 03, 2009, 09:50:41 am
Such a shame the East-/Westcoast fued ran out following the death of 2 of hiphops most loved and talented people.
(Yeah yeah, I gotta hiphop state of mind)
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on August 15, 2010, 03:38:55 am
Sometimes words are not enough to describe something  :(

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GUn8xQSoTPs[/youtube]
title song of the best emotional Dutch movie ever.. :)

I kinda feel fukced up right now.. like nobody cares about me.. except my parents.. :'(

I need a girl in my life again.. can't live without someone that close to me.. :@

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNz7BudnW-o[/youtube]
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Mach5 on August 17, 2010, 10:45:59 pm
what exactly are you feeling?don't you have neighbours,or friends?

P.S:i guess people in the forum should give more attention to this topic,it really help us say what we are locking in ourselfs. :P
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on August 17, 2010, 11:06:38 pm
nice words ush  ;) , but u should stop smoking that shit :L

:L
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on August 18, 2010, 10:18:55 am
last time I posted here I was drunk haha
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Mach5 on August 19, 2010, 05:59:44 pm
oh,that explains everything lol :L
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 02, 2010, 09:15:37 pm
This is a great poem by Tupac Shakur!

Quote from: Tupac Amaru Shakur
" I Cry "

Sometimes when I'm alone I Cry,
Cause I am on my own.
The tears I cry are bitter and warm,
They flow with life but take no form
I Cry because my heart is torn.
I find it difficult to carry on.
If I had an ear to confiding,
I would cry among my treasured friend,
but who do you know that stops that long,
to help another carry on.
The world moves fast and it would rather pass by.
Then to stop and see what makes one cry,
so painful and sad.
And sometimes...
I cry and no one cares about why.
Title: The Secret to Happiness
Post by: [MAF]Sighmoan on October 08, 2010, 05:06:15 pm
What is it?

I have been fucking miserable for the last two weeks now
Title: Re: The Secret to Happiness
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 08, 2010, 05:17:14 pm
A good social environment, a job and respect from others.. well that's a very short summary :L
Title: Re: The Secret to Happiness
Post by: [MAF]PyroFox on October 08, 2010, 05:29:18 pm
What's up? :(

Basically what ush said, things I try are: Always have something to look forward to, no matter how small it is. Do shit you'd usually never do, be more sociable, all that kinda stuff, also since I'm irish, I drink a lot, in fact, I'm going out again tonight :L Alcohol FTW!
Title: Re: The Secret to Happiness
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 08, 2010, 05:47:17 pm
It usually helps me to talk with friends about my problems, or with a good girlfriend. It kinda depends on what your problem is Simon, but 2 weeks of sadness is long, anything wrong on the workfloor? Women problems? :( Just take a day off, do something you normally wouldn't do so fast.. Why not just make a short walk in your neighbourhood? It usually calms me down a lot.. or even visit your parents.

You probably just need some warmth of good loving family/friends. Keep your head up Simon ;)

Oh and if the problem is not meant for close contacts ears at first, try to contact some of us maybe.. just talking about it really takes a lot of the pressure of usually.
Title: Re: The Secret to Happiness
Post by: [MAF]PyroFox on October 08, 2010, 05:50:19 pm
Good advice ush <3
Title: Re: The Secret to Happiness
Post by: [MAF]Vertigo on October 08, 2010, 05:56:09 pm
A lot of the time it's easier to open up to people you don't know so well over the internet
than people you are close to in real life.

Either way open up to someone, always helps to get things off your chest.
Title: Re: The Secret to Happiness
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 08, 2010, 06:00:17 pm
always helps to get things off your chest.

I hope you can help me with this Vertigo:

(http://i.imgur.com/To1Us.jpg)
Title: Re: The Secret to Happiness
Post by: [MAF]Vertigo on October 08, 2010, 06:03:29 pm
Tissue helps i guess. rofl.
Title: Re: The Secret to Happiness
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 08, 2010, 06:04:25 pm
A good laughter also helps. :D :D
Title: Re: The Secret to Happiness
Post by: [MAF]MrHess on October 08, 2010, 06:13:55 pm
(http://i53.tinypic.com/68ag68.png)
Title: Re: The Secret to Happiness
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on October 08, 2010, 07:09:39 pm
What is it?

I have been fucking miserable for the last two weeks now

how am i supposed to know :|

damn depression topics :/
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ivanduk on October 08, 2010, 07:17:55 pm
(http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs122.snc4/36445_401273264610_515469610_4382401_1405556_n.jpg)
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on October 08, 2010, 07:18:56 pm
hahahaha
Title: Re: The Secret to Happiness
Post by: [MAF]Cthulhu on October 09, 2010, 12:42:24 pm
(http://i53.tinypic.com/68ag68.png)

haha, great :L
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on October 09, 2010, 12:52:30 pm
it's a book called like that, lol.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: Peeps-101 on December 01, 2010, 09:27:13 am
Through God, anything is possible!
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ǝǝǝoſ[sXɐ] on December 01, 2010, 05:22:53 pm
http://forum.adrenalinex.co.uk/index.php/topic,1211.msg26186/topicseen.html#msg26186 ftw
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on February 08, 2011, 02:29:40 am
Through God, anything is possible!

+1
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on February 08, 2011, 02:43:58 am
I love you all <3

no homo O0
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on February 13, 2011, 12:19:45 pm
^ lol drunk
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ivanduk on April 11, 2011, 01:45:40 pm
There is a girl at my school that i liked for nearly a year, and she knew that(she liked me too). i didnt had the guts to ask her out but eventually i did. we were supposed to go to the movies tonight, so i log om to my facebook all happy and stuff, and i see a message from her, saying that im a nice guy and all but all she wanted is to be friends. i was like wtf girl if you didnt like me why did you agree to go on a date with me? im not depressed but i just dont understand why did she had to give me hope and than dump me like that, through a fb message? another proof that girls are insolent bitches
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [LSR]Jalicno on April 11, 2011, 01:53:38 pm
Nah you just proved her that you are too 'young' for some relationship in her eyes.Many girls that ages looking for some older
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: b00tsyou on April 11, 2011, 02:38:58 pm
Many girls that ages looking for some older

Oedipus complex  :D :D :D
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on April 11, 2011, 03:14:02 pm
Women: the never ending unsolvable puzzle.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: b00tsyou on April 11, 2011, 03:34:52 pm


a french comic said :"Les femmes préfèrent les hommes qui les prennent sans les comprendre, aux hommes qui les comprennent sans les prendre. "

which mean : Women prefer men who take(fuck) them without understanding them, rather than men who understand them without taking(fucking) them

Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on September 18, 2011, 10:56:25 pm
:P
Title: Re: The Secret to Happiness
Post by: [FSR]Ush on July 10, 2012, 11:50:08 pm
What is it?

I have been fucking miserable for the last two weeks now

how am i supposed to know :|

damn depression topics :/

says the guy who watches suicide forums :L

hm why did I came at this topic anyway? well.. women still are complicated :L
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on July 10, 2012, 11:51:20 pm
:L oops
Title: Re: The Secret to Happiness
Post by: [MAF]Agus on July 11, 2012, 01:12:12 am
well.. women still are complicated :L

that's gonna be true forever :o
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [FSR]Ush on July 11, 2012, 08:09:59 am
I love New York City!! Can't wait to visit it again :D
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on May 01, 2014, 11:28:07 pm
Sometimes I feel like I'm born in the wrong generation. I only get on with people 20-30 years older than me. I can have a mature conversation with someone in their 50s more than I can with someone in their 20s. It's really hard! It's like I just want to live in the 1970s/1980s because I feel it's where I belong. It makes me feel a bit upset sometimes knowing how awesome technolgy is becoming yet it's turning people into robots that don't need to think for themselves anymore. I like to live a simple life and not rely on anything, an active mind should never die!!

I've also turned a corner and changed my life around since I moved out of my parent's home 2 years ago. I have an appreciation for life and people, and life is too short to argue over stupid things. I feel happier being nice to people.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: Troublemaker on May 02, 2014, 12:32:23 am
Sometimes I feel like I'm born in the wrong generation. I only get on with people 20-30 years older than me. I can have a mature conversation with someone in their 50s more than I can with someone in their 20s. It's really hard! It's like I just want to live in the 1970s/1980s because I feel it's where I belong. It makes me feel a bit upset sometimes knowing how awesome technolgy is becoming yet it's turning people into robots that don't need to think for themselves anymore. I like to live a simple life and not rely on anything, an active mind should never die!!

I've also turned a corner and changed my life around since I moved out of my parent's home 2 years ago. I have an appreciation for life and people, and life is too short to argue over stupid things. I feel happier being nice to people.

I would have nothing more to add lol
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Agus on May 02, 2014, 12:33:01 am
Sometimes I feel like I'm born in the wrong generation. I only get on with people 20-30 years older than me. I can have a mature conversation with someone in their 50s more than I can with someone in their 20s.

I feel exactly like you in that every day, although in my case the reason is not technology related. I realized that when I noticed that in swimming I barely talk to people my own age but I talk to almost every adult/old person.
In my case the reason is probably the things we usually talk. With (most) adults you can talk serious things, but with people my age all I hear is which beer is better, how much money they spent on alcohol, which club is the best or how drunk they were or how many times they passed out last weekend (and I believe it's sad how some people say it as it's something funny and feeling proud of it, while I find it quite pathetic). I've even heard some saying they saw [insert name here] drunk driving, finding it not only funny but worth of admiration, like ''yeah [same name as before] is awesome''. And while everyone laughs I'm thinking what the fuck is wrong with teenagers today...
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on May 02, 2014, 12:44:31 am
In my case the reason is probably the things we usually talk. With (most) adults you can talk serious things, but with people my age all I hear is which beer is better, how much money they spent on alcohol, which club is the best or how drunk they were or how many times they passed out last weekend (and I believe it's sad how some people say it as it's something funny and feeling proud of it, while I find it quite pathetic). I've even heard some saying they saw [insert name here] drunk driving, finding it not only funny but worth of admiration, like ''yeah [same name as before] is awesome''. And while everyone laughs I'm thinking what the fuck is wrong with teenagers today...

This. I have no interest in listening to that kind of stuff either. I'm more interested in learning about fashion and music and other stuff from the 60s/70s/80s and earlier generations.

It's really hard to get a girlfriend around my age as well (25) because I have no interest in clubs and parties and all that other Jersey Shore type of lifestyle crap where it's all about modern slang with words like "reem" and "sick" and they only care about their hair, their tattoos and their bodies, and have no personality whatsoever.. My interest is in older women at the age of 35-45, because that's what I connect with

It's hard being us, huh :L
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]MrHess on May 02, 2014, 02:08:13 am


It's hard being us, huh :L


agreed
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Cromiell on May 02, 2014, 10:24:12 am
It's hard being us, huh :L

But it's worth it most of times. I am proud of myself when I can look back and realize I became a better person and "earnt" so much just because I sticked to my own feelings and values.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on May 02, 2014, 10:27:05 am
Absolutely mate ^ it doesn't pay to be a sheep. Life is about choosing your own path.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: Torete_[GT] on May 02, 2014, 06:35:13 pm
I kinda feel the same when I'm around my people and the only thing they talk about how hot a girl is and boast about something they did related to alcohol, drugs and girls. "Pff, that girl is so damn hot. I'd take her into my bed..." and actually I have to say, I'm the first who lead a life that way. The only difference is that I don't boast, just say.

Probably today I found out this life, my life, is not as cool as I thought for them. I'm so fucking confused right now that I don't really know what do to: if giving my best on my life and pushing to the limit till I'm so fucking tired I give up or throwing away all my thoughts.

I had to write this because I saw this topic as the first one, like if god put it in front of me. I don't really know if I'm right, but the only thing I really know is that karma works boy and it does extremely good, take care of that bloody bitch.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]Snoopy on May 02, 2014, 08:13:06 pm
Just remember (if you believe in this kind of stuff) you always have angels and spirit guides around you, that gives me a lot of comfort, I call them in when I need to. I hope you do the same thing.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: nero on May 05, 2014, 03:08:07 pm
When I started working after university about 2 1/2 years ago, I was eager to finally do something, create and produce something relevant rather than just sitting and absorbing knowledge.

Now, I managed to get myself a more realistic point of view on the topic of work and joy.

If you love the matter of your work, things will piss you off. Often. Things will not happen like you want them to. You will not have the power of control to make things the way they should be to be good. They will always turn out as a agreement between different powers, as a huge pile of non-fitting parts made to fit so everyone can tell his boss he got it his way (or at least was able to say "No" to smth.). There will always be fights over who gets to decide. If you don't have to fight with your collegues, you will have to fight with your client (which is a lot more difficult and consumptive). Your work might consist of 20 % of actual work and 80 % communication (e.g. emails, client calls, meetings). This can be frustrating and kill your motivation at all.

Now you might ask yourself: "But what should I do about it?"

I don't say that this can be applied to all jobs and companies. But these tips are my conclusion after 2 1/2 years in a very stressful job:

1. Always give 100 %. If you love it, give 120 %. Never give 80 % (this might get you fired…).

2. Do it like you would do it for yourself. Half-assing the job will get you a shitty reputation amongst co-workers and clients faster then you can say "Please don't let me go".

4. Fight for your ideas.

5. Nevertheless, your ideas might sometimes not work. Accept this as a fact when proven so. Be open to "kill your baby".

6. Doing things extra-good from the beginning might save your ass when you fuck up something later.

7. Always have a plan B. For everything.

8. If things piss you off, say it out loud in a reasonable situation and language. Keeping silent and then leaving is for cowards.

9. If you leave, make it clean. No matter how fucked up everything was, look forward and start fresh, don't waste your time and energy and creating more mess than there already is.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: Troublemaker on May 05, 2014, 06:56:24 pm
Nice tips nero, I agree with everything. But it isn't the same for every job, like you said.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: ... on May 06, 2014, 02:46:27 am
I'm curious to know what tip number 3 is.
Title: Re: Just some writing of thoughts.
Post by: [MAF]mooman on May 06, 2014, 03:11:22 am
Always leave people wanting more.