Topic: My Brother

[[MAF]Rac3r]

Well my bros been gone a good month now, he's visiting a lot of places, atm he is in Costa Rica... home of Juan xD
He was in mexico last week, rumours say someone pulled a gun out on him, could be fiction, he didn't mention it. Damn facebook gossip. lol

Tech support:  What kind of computer do you have?
 

Female customer:

A white one...

===============
Customer:  Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support:  Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer:  Yes, sure, it's really stuck. 
Tech support:  That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. 
Customer:  No  ,  wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry.... 
===============   
Tech support:  Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:  Your left or my left? 
=============== 
Tech support:  Good day. How may I help you? 
Male customer:  Hello... I can't print.
Tech support:  Would you click on 'start' for me and... 
Customer:  Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates. 
=============== 
Customer:  Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it.... 
==============  = 
Customer:  I have problems printing in red... 
Tech support:  Do you have a colour printer?
Customer:  Aaaah....................thank you. 
=============== 
Tech support:  What's on your monitor now, ma'am? 
Customer:  A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies. 
=============== 
Customer:  My keyboard is not working anymore. 
Tech support:  Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? 
Customer:  No. I can't get behind the computer. 
Tech support:  Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. 
Customer: ! OK
Tech support:  Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes 
Tech support:  That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer:  Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work... 
=============== 
Tech support:  Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as n Victor, the number 7. 
Customer:  Is that 7 in capital letters ? 
== ============= 
Customer:  can't get on the Internet.. 
Tech support:  Are you sure you used the right password? 
Customer:  Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. 
Tech support:  Can you tell me what the password was? 
Customer:  Five stars. 
=============== 
Tech support:  What anti-virus program do you use? 
Customer:  Netscape.
Tech support:  That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer:  Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. 
=============== 
Customer:  I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
=============== 
Tech support:   How may I help you? 
Customer:  I'm writing my first e-mail. 
Tech support:  OK, and what seems to be the problem? 
Customer:  Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? 
=============== 
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support:  Are you running it under windows?
Customer:  'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.' 
=============== 
And last but not least... 

Tech support:  'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer:  I don't have a P. 
Tech support:  On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer:  What do you mean? 
Tech support:  'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin..
Customer:  I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!

[[MAF]Rac3r]

An attractive blonde from Cork, Ireland arrived at the casino. She seemed a
little intoxicated and bet twenty-thousand Euros on a single roll of the dice.

She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely
nude'.

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and with an Irish
brogue yelled, 'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed...'YES! YES! I
WON, I WON!'

She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes
and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?'

The other answered,
'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'

MORAL OF THE STORY -

Not all Irish are drunks,
not all blondes are dumb,
but all men...are men.

[[MAF]Rac3r]

Do you know your arse from your elbow?
http://www.zegelin.com/love_files/ArseorElbow.htm

[[MAF]Rac3r]

DON'T TAKE LIFE SO SERIOUSLY,
IT ISN'T PERMANENT
 
--- VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES ---
 
 
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Tell a woman

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you
done wrong?
Made her chain too long

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Launderette a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably 
never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer 
to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't need to. There is a clock on the cooker.

Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required 
pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told

I married Miss Right.
I didn't realise her first name was 'Always'.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%..
It's called Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
Because they want to.

Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are sexy.

[[MAF]MrHess]

lol somebody is havin fun, about ur bro, can u contact him?

[[MAF]Cthulhu]

[Thrasher]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLOOLLOLOLOLOOLLOL

[ǝǝǝoſ[sXɐ]]

BuMPeD

[some_punk]

as i remember.. u already posted this before 

[[MAF]Sighmoan]

Well my bros been gone a good month now,

So you nicked his room now?

[[MAF]Aj_Lajk_Bir]

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

lol nice

[[MAF]MrHess]

Im a fuckin only child but my fucken brother wrote th9s shit woooooooolk,./

[[FSR]Ush]

How's Earl doing?

[[2F2F]Hellmuth]

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

looool

[[MAF]Snoopy]

hhahaha