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A father and son are talking about sex. The son asks his father, "Dad, what does a pussy look like?"
The dad asked him, "before or after sex?"
"Um, before sex", the son replied.
The dad said, "have you ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red petals?"
"Yeah" said the son.
"Well, what about after sex?" said the son.
His dad replied, "have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?"
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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get 100 babies out of a blender? Tortilla chips of course!
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What's brown and gurgles?
A baby in a casserole.
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How do you trap an elephant?
1) Dig a big hole in the ground
2) Fill the hole with ashes
3) Put peas all around the edge of the ash filled hole
Now when an elephant comes to take a pea you kick him in the ash hole.
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How much babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends how hard you throw them.
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At marriage functions old people used to pull my cheeks & say "YOU'RE NEXT". Now they have stopped it.
WHY?
'coz I started doing the same thing with them at the funerals.
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While creating "gals" God promised boys that good & ideal girlfriends will be found in all the corners of the world.
Then he made the Earth Round...
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Whats red and sits in the corner? A baby with razor blades.
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What's worse than a 10 babies nailed to a tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.
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You know what's gross?
Two vampires fighting over a used kotex.
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