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Jokes

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ivanduk:
Why do babies cry when they are born?
 -Because they know they've come on a world where Chuck Norris lives.

Chuck Norris visited Mars once. Since then there are no signs of life there.

A cobra once bit Chuck Norris in his leg. After 5 days of agonising pain, the cobra died.

Chuck Norris's speciality: Choking with cordless phone.

Only Chuck Norris can make a snowman out of rain.

[MAF]Aj_Lajk_Bir:
Look at my horse; my horse is amazing.
Give it a lick.
MMMmm! It tastes just like raisins!
Have a stroke of its mane,
it turns into a plane,
and then it turns back again when you tug on its winky.
Oooo thats dirty!
Do you think so?
Well I better not show you where the lemonade is made -
Sweet lemonade, mmmm sweet lemonade.
Sweet lemonade, yeah sweet lemonade.
Get on my horse Ill take you round the universe -
and all the other places, too.
I think youll find that the universe pretty much covers everything.
Shut up woman, get on my horse.

[MAF]Cthulhu:
hah :L

[MAF]Cthulhu:
Weird english from all around the world.

On a restaurant menu in Vienna:
Fried milk, children sandwiches, roast cattle and boiled sheep.

In a fur shop in Sweden:
Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

From a russian newspaper:
There will be a Moscow exhibition of Arts by 150,000 Soviet painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

In a Bucharest hotel:
The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a czech tourist agency:
Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no miscarriages!

In a Bangkok drycleaner's:
Drop your trousers here for the best results.

In a Hong Kong tailor's shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

From an east african newspaper:
A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

On a medicine bottle:
Adults: 1 tablet 3 times a day until passing away.

[MAF]Sighmoan:
Who is the coolest guy in hospital?

The Ultra Sound guy.

When he is on holiday who fills in for him?

The Hip Replacement guy.

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